Back in 1996, I stumbled upon Daniel Goleman’s groundbreaking book on Emotional Intelligence. The very first page captured me with a powerful quote from Aristotle, setting the tone for the entire book: “So then, he who is angry with the right people, and with whom it is right, and also as, when, and for the right time, is to be praised. Such a one would be gentle (…); for he who is gentle wants to be calm and not be driven by passion, but to be angry in the manner, for the reasons, and for the time that reason dictates. (…). It is not easy to specify how, with whom, for what reasons, and for how long we should be angry, nor even the limits within which we act rightly or sin” (Nicomachean Ethics). Aristotle delves into the concept of gentleness as a form of anger, highlighting the importance of emotional balance.
Goleman’s research on emotional intelligence revolves around the rediscovery of willpower and emotions. The essence of a serene and calm individual lies in finding the golden mean between excessive anger and cold impassivity. It’s not about suppressing negative emotions but rather about managing them intelligently in a world full of potential triggers. In our daily lives, we encounter numerous sources of irritation, from injustices to annoying behavior. As Aristotle and Goleman emphasize, finding the right emotional balance is a challenging yet essential pursuit.
A hot-tempered person struggles to control their anger, often reacting impulsively and disproportionately to minor provocations. Their outbursts affect not only themselves but also those around them, leading to strained relationships. Bitterness exacerbates irritability, as bitter individuals harbor grudges and seek revenge, poisoning their own minds and relationships. Aristotle warns against the destructive nature of excess anger, urging us to strive for emotional moderation.
Excessive anger, bitterness, and stubbornness create toxic environments and hinder personal growth. Aristotle’s wisdom underscores the importance of cultivating emotional intelligence to navigate life’s challenges without losing our temper. It’s a difficult yet rewarding journey towards finding inner peace and harmonious relationships.
